Author Archives: El Guapo

Currently I am in some garbagey island in Europe where nothing looks like whatever this girl is describing in this tune. The other day I got in trouble for ordering a coffee because the person making it didn’t want to work so she gave me shit like, “why are you ordering right now, you stepped in a few minutes ago” No joke. Post communism man, I tell ya. no sense of customer service AT ALL. The imagery painted in this song is on point. Which sucks, because I want a dope chill pier to kick it on and have some fuckin’ straw hangin’ out my mouth like a fuckin’ white redneck basking in the sun, belly all hangin’ out. Oh and I think there are fuckin’ cat sounds in this song as well , which is a win. Or some shit that sounds like a meow at least. Which I am totally cool wit.

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I like Sunday. All the branding is on point, the music makes sense together in a playlist. Which is pretty much the opposite of my entire life. Because I got no idea who I am as a human being, nothing I do seems to ever make sense and any time I try to say something, it ends up coming out sounding like shit.

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OK kids. This here is some low fat Coca Cola. Where it feels like Coca Cola but it isn’t really truly Coca Cola. Sometimes, I get the urge to listen to some Kygo shit without wanting to really listen to some Kygo shit. So I put on a chill jam like this and eat my Nutella and toast and pretend all is right in the world over a glass of fresh orange juice in my hotel.

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If I was to ever let music slap me in the face, this would be the song.

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I really like Xavier White. I’ve posted his music before. An entire album actually, and now he comes back with a new single that doesn’t disappoint. Check this cut out kids. Get your new age RnB on and don’t be lame, support the artist. Follow the kid on Soundcloud below

Xavier White

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This song is so dope. Not only does it reflect my sentiment completely, but it’s so well produced. A nice clean current but forward sounding pop song. FRND is dope. I would go out for milkshakes with him and talk about life and shit. I would probably paint graffiti with him too and get chased by the police, but if dogs came after us, I would stop first, so they keep chasing him. That’s something I learned in graffiti school. Also, all police dogs are trained in german commands. But I have yet to test that one out.

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So I am looking at this artwork like, YOOOOOO , the fuck?! These mutherfuckers released a song about takin you down tonight or whatever, and their artwork is DP. Bonnie and Clyde all about dat dual penetrating love yo. Spread the word!

Then it hit me what the artwork was but who cares what the artwork is?! the song is called Tonight and there is a giant gaping DP on their cover art. So obviously I had to click listen. And this shit didn’t suck! Not only do Bonnie and Clyde get down freaky in the sheets but they got the skills on the boards. ;)

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I once caught a really bad case of crabs after smashing out this random girl in the shrubs in Whistler Village. She was Australian, it turns out they all travel to Canada during the winter to ski and snowboard. After the fiasco of having to pretty much shave my goddamn eyebrows just to rid myself of the scurge, my friends were like, yo where did you catch crabs ?! haha! My answer was “in the trees” for a few years the term in the trees became a handle used by my friends for many things. Oh the joys of youth. This producer is dope. His engineering is ill. You should listen to this as a means of cleansing your mind of the image I’ve just painted for you. You sick fucks.

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